Somewhere along the way, we run into the wall of reality and have to come to grips with the fact that there is so much we have yet to learn! The wall might show up in a marital squabble. As a young wife, I was often surprised to find that my husband did not want my unsolicited advice. I mean, I was only trying to help him do it right! (*gulp* Nothing like completely violating Ephesians 5:33 - "the wife must respect her husband.") Or maybe you hit that wall as a parent the first time your little darling stomps a defiant foot and screams "No!" when you tell her to do something. Whenever it happens - and it will happen - it can be a jarring experience.
But as a follower of The Way, I should not be surprised to learn that I have so much to learn! Especially when it comes to the things that my Abba is doing! He tells me as much in his word - " 'For your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord" (Isaiah 55:8). In other words, I cannot POSSIBLY understand why God does what he does.
I've said to friends before that my spiritual growth has been like slowly opening a door into a grand ballroom that's all prepared for a party, full of things that will wonder, delight and amaze. When the door is open just a crack, I see a tiny glimpse of the wonderful things that lie within. After I have gazed my fill, I open the door a tiny bit further only to find that the new things I can see are even more wondrous. The more I get to know of God the more aware I am of how much I don't know and can never know this side of glory. But the more I know of him, the more I stand in awe of the fact that one such as he would not only allow me to fellowship with him, he actually desires it!
In my family, as well as my extended family, there are a number of circumstances that leave us wondering just exactly what God is doing. We have been trying to buy a house for a couple of months now (it's in foreclosure) and the company that currently owns the property has been dragging their feet. Is that the Master's way of saying "This isn't the house for you" or is the enemy trying to interfere? My sister - the middle one in the family - has been trying to train for a half marathon to support a cause she is beyond passionate about yet she keeps injuring and reinjuring an ankle, making it pretty much impossible to train despite the treadmill sitting in her basement! My baby sister has suffered multiple miscarriages and finds herself 15 weeks into a pregnancy that looks like it might come to term. So what is God doing? I could go on with story after story - loss of jobs, relocations, job change - but I don't want to overwhelm anyone!
So what's the big answer?! What is God doing? I don't have all the details but I can assure you of this - he is still in control, he is still busy educating those that want to know more of him, and he is definitely in the business of helping a once arrogant, know-it-all young wife learn more and more the value of humbling herself before her King and seeking only to please him with her words and her actions. And I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I can trust him to take care of the rest!